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博为思英语
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总的来说写得不错, 今后清多注意行文的brevity!Good job and the revision is as follows:
The best friend of mine (改为: My Best Friend)


My best friend is XiaoHua, who lives near away from me now. She was my classmate and roommate when we were at college. We usually went to class and went home together. I had something in common with her that I can talk to easily.

(修改: My best friend is XiaoHua who lives very close to my house. She was my classmate as well as roommate when we were in college. We used to go to class together and go back to our dorm together. We had so much in common that we could find a million things to talk about everyday).

we often discussed the current affairs and the knowledge what we had learned in the class. if I have some questions and I asked for advice, She would help me immediately. On the contrary, I would help her absolutely. More over, we often studied together, such we can help each other.

(修改: We often discussed about current affairs and school courses. We often studied together. If I have a question and need advice, she would offer her help immediately. By the same token, I would help her unconditionally whenever she needed it.)

I like her who had a good sense of humor. She often had a joke with me and made me happy. I very like to talk to you. She is cheerful and easygoing. Many students all like staying with her. So I am very happy I can be friend with her.

(修改: She was easygoing and fun to be around. With her natural good sense of humor, she could always make me laugh even when I was feeling worst. All of my classmates liked her and I felt very lucky to be her best friend.)

She was an excellent and sociable Chairman of Student Union who always organized some activities such as helping the poor students, helping the poor elderly, doing something for our campus, or organizing some literature and art activities and so on.

(修改:As the Chairman of the Student Union, she organized a series of student activities such as helping students in financial hardship, assisting the elderly, doing services for our campus, and so on.)

After graduation, we departed. We can't get in touch with each other frequently. Sometimes, we called through telephone. but because we did the different job and we were busy in their own works and lives, so I feel we have nothing in common with each other, so topic was less than ever.

(修改: After graduation, we parted ways. We didn't communicate with each ther quite as often. Even though we sometimes talked over the phone, due to our busy work and life, we found fewer and fewer things to talk about.)

But one time, I called her about my wedding, and I hope she could attend. She was very happy when she heard the good news. She almost can't help herself yelling a bit. Later she attended my wedding and had a good time. Besides, on her wedding, I also went there to give her some blessing. From now on, we started to see each other frequently. Another reason was we have same hobbies, our common hobbies are making a tour and doing some exercises. Now we often go to the tour spot or play talble-tennis and so on.

(修改: One day, I called her to invite her to my wedding. She was overjoyed to hear the good news. She attended my wedding and we caught up on each other's lives. From then on, we started to see each other more frequently. We travels together and do sports together. We rekindled our friendship and that's the most precious thing in our lives!)
2007-07-24 21:11:23   此文章已经被查看162次   
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